It's Time to Get H.O.T.

Think about the situation where you most struggle with comparisons. Now as you consider this life circumstance, answer the following questions. Please take your time as you reflect and respond.


I'm going to get H.O.T and let you guys know that at this season of my life I am struggling with comparing my kids academical weaknesses to other kids academical strengths. Why can't I practice what I preach to my girls? "Don't let those test scores "define" who you are! We are ALL different. Where one has strengths, the other may be weak. Where one is weak, the other may be strong. We are who God made us to be, so embrace who you are and live it honoring Him in all you do." It's so easy for me to offer hope and encouragement to others and at the same time hard to take hold of it for myself. 

4. What does God want me to learn about Him that I might never discover if he were to suddenly pluck me out of this situation?


Hummm... that is something that I've been praying for since this struggle started about three weeks ago and the Lord did reveal to me that I needed to change my focus. I needed more of an "eternal perspective" on things. Worry less on the "earthly" things and focus on what REALLY matters in the end.  

5. What Christlike character traits is He trying to grow in me?


Humility, peace, compassion, faith, endurance are just a few from my very long list!

6. Who is watching, either up close or from afar and discovering what God is like by my reactions to my current situation?

MY GIRLS!!! I'm sure there are others but what I am focused on through this struggle is that my girls see me living out what I preach to them.

7. How might my empathy for others deepen if I go through this current trial with grace and acceptance?

To empathize is to feel how others feel, to see the world as they do. 

Going through this struggle with acceptance and grace has allowed me to view Emma's struggle through her eyes. I kept looking at it through my eyes and worrying about what it looked like in others eyes. In doing that, I would make comments to Emma that tore her heart out. I didn't really realize that I was hurting her until we had our heart to heart and she got H.O.T. with me. She began to tell me that when I would say things to her such as, "Really, Emma?", "Duhhhh!" or the worse one "Seriously Emma, what part of that do you not understand?" it made her believe what she was already thinking.. that she was dumb.  YES, I know... I'm a bad mom! Honestly, I say that to people other than her as well not meaning anything by it but when it is said to someone that already feels "dumb" or "not as good as others" it wreaks havoc on their self esteem. Ohhhhhh, to know that I did that to my own daughter has tore my heart out! Why didn't I see that? How did I not see that? Because I was too focused on trying to hide our struggle and look as if we had it all together. I was focused on what our struggle looked like through others eyes instead of looking at it through Emma's eyes and embracing it as a challenge given to us by God so that we would draw near to Him as a family.

 8. What is God trying to say to me, not by the outcome, but through the voyage?

Be thankful for this struggle, it has put me on my knees at His feet! 
Be sensitive to Emma - see it as she sees it.
Look to Him instead of looking at others.
Stop comparing my "yucks" with other people and their "yays". 
Focus more and put more energy into building christ-like characteristics in my girls - take more of an eternal perspective

Last Assignment!

I'm just keeping this assignment short and sweet. I glanced at chapter 10 and yes, it was written for me and placed before me just when I needed it most.. and HE knew it! So, I am going to soak it in and post more tomorrow. This week read chapters 10 & 11. We will meet on Thursday at 6 at Grandaddy's for those that are interested, please RSVP.

Study and Reflect:

1. Think back to your "younger" days. In what areas of life were you envious of others?

2. Read the following verses and record your thoughts on the light they shed on comparisons.
    Prov 14:30, Prov 27:4, Ecc 4:4, James 3:14 and 1 Peter 2:1

Think about the situation where you most struggle with comparisons. Now as you consider this life circumstance, answer the following questions. Please take your time as you reflect and respond.

4. What does God want me to learn about Him that I might never discover if he were to suddenly pluck me out of this situation?

5. What Christlike character traits is He trying to grow in me?

6. Who is watching, either up close or from afar and discovering what God is like by my reactions to my current situation?

7. How might my empathy for others deepen if I go through this current trial with grace and acceptance?

8. What is God trying to say to me, not by the outcome, but through the voyage?

Final question:

Think about your overall attitude after this study. Has your desire to control people and circumstances changed at all? How about your longing to trust God rather than take matters into your own hands? Again, I would love to hear from you guys... feel free to share!

His Reminder to Me

 

I woke up this morning and prayed for God to give me a word that I really NEEDED today. After 45 minutes of reading I began to think my request had fallen on deaf ears and then BAM, in my face II Cor 4:16-18! I'm human, I'm not perfect and the past two weeks have proven that to me. I've been full of worry, stress, doubt, comparisons, frustration, why me attitudes etc. all of which have drained me mentally. I was focused on my "troubles", I had pitched a tent and camped out there. That's why The Lord had me reading the above scripture, to remind me to shift my focus to Him and change my perspective to an eternal perspective. My troubles in the "seen" world look scary with my eyes, but I need to see my troubles for what they are...  momentary and used to drive me to Him!! It's time to shift my focus, change my perspective, let it go and PRESS ON! Thank you Jesus for the reminder!!

It's Time to Get H.O.T.

"Chapter 7 of Let. It. Go. we learned that what’s inside of us will spill out. So therefore if we’ve been filled with junk, junk will spill out. Junk like harsh words, negativity, impatience, frustration, depression, anxiety, anger…you get the picture. By the same token, if we are filled with good stuff, then good stuff will spill forth. Stuff like kindness, patience, understanding, compassion, forgiveness, love, gentleness, sweetness, and all other excellent things. This is why it’s so important to spend time with God, in His Word every day. Of course this won’t make us perfect, and even on those days (especially on those days) we spend time with the Lord, we may still lose it or get down, but we will have been equipped to handle our situations and schedules much better."

Ugh... I just got bumped and what spilled out was NOT pretty! I didn't lose my cool but I got very emotional (tears), frustrated, impatient and my anxiety level went through the roof!! Was I alone during this spill? Unfortunately, NO! The past two weeks I've been anxious about the CRCT and the results of both my kids seeing that they are in the years that "determine" if they pass to the next grade. Well, this afternoon Elyse decides to inform me by yelling from the playground to my car, "Mom, I failed the CRCT and have to go to summer school!" And just like that she ran off to continue playing and I crumbled! WHAT??!!! REALLY??!!! OMG!!! What am I doing wrong as a parent? Do we not study like we should? Do I not give her the help she needs? What am I doing wrong?? This little bit of information required that I walk in to talk with the teacher in order to find out what happened. Sooooo, off to park the car and into the lobby of Jerger School where I had several eyes on me as soon as I entered. My eyes were already red from crumbling in the car, so it was obvious that I was emotional. I proceeded to Elyse's teacher where she was staring at me in confusion... again, I teared up. And here comes doubt, negativity and anxiety setting in again. After I got myself together I asked what part of the CRCT did Elyse fail? Her look went from confusion to even greater confusion. You see, Elyse doesn't know her test scores yet. None of the kids know... but they did received a "invitation" letter to summer school for reading and math that is optional. Elyse thought that invitation meant she failed! Her teacher couldn't tell me the score (whether she passed or not), she just comforted this emotional wreck of a mom with a stern "it's going to be OK!" Now frustration and impatience set it. So there I go traipsing to find Elyse to "beat her" (figuratively speaking, don't call DFACS)  for causing this donkey that was already on the edge OVER the edge!  Again, I didn't come completely unglued but do NOT like what spilled out after my bump!!  I even started my day off with the Lord but like the above paragraph states, "This is why it’s so important to spend time with God, in His Word every day. Of course this won’t make us perfect, and even on those days (especially on those days) we spend time with the Lord, we may still lose it or get down, but we will have been equipped to handle our situations and schedules much better." Well, I failed that test the Lord put in my path today... but thank Him for His grace and mercy. I just pray that others can look at me with that same grace and mercy! Again, I'm not perfect and I am sure I will fail other test but what I do with it and learn from it matters. I contacted all the "eyes" that saw me and apologized for my emotional break down. I've learned that time with God DOES matter, I'm not sure what would have spilled out had I not had my quiet time this morning.... that's a scary thought!!!!  
 
*Sidenote: could REALLY use some extra prayers!! It's been a rough two weeks!*

What's Inside Will Spill Out

Blog post from Proverbs 31:

 

In Chapter 7 of Let. It. Go. we learned that what’s inside of us will spill out. So therefore if we’ve been filled with junk, junk will spill out. Junk like harsh words, negativity, impatience, frustration, depression, anxiety, anger…you get the picture. By the same token, if we are filled with good stuff, then good stuff will spill forth. Stuff like kindness, patience, understanding, compassion, forgiveness, love, gentleness, sweetness, and all other excellent things. This is why it’s so important to spend time with God, in His Word every day. Of course this won’t make us perfect, and even on those days (especially on those days) we spend time with the Lord, we may still lose it or get down, but we will have been equipped to handle our situations and schedules much better.  

As we look at one of this week’s reflection verses, Psalm 31:15-15a (turn there in your Bibles now), we soak up the fact that we have a God that we can trust. He is ours. He is mine. He is yours. Then David writes, “My times are in your hands.”  In other words “all of life’s circumstances are under God’s control.”  (Life Application Study Bible)

Right now I feel like my schedule is packed. Often it changes at a moment’s notice throwing off my entire day! (Example:  I came down the stairs the other morning, heading for the coffee maker and then to quiet time. There was a foul smell in the room. I turned on the light and there was doggie diarrhea all over the carpet. My quiet time had to wait and I had to gag my way through cleaning it up before the rest of the family awakened.)

That could have ruined my day. I could have complained my way through the rest of the day because my schedule had been thrown off. Instead, I chose to listen to worship music. I might have missed my scheduled quiet time, but I had some flexibility in what I listened to. I could keep my woe is me pathetic attitude or I could trade that in for praising God and remembering that I don’t have to fret, complain, or worry, my times are in His hands. His very very capable hands.

If I wasn’t spending time in God’s Word, I don’t know if I would have chosen that route of praise and worship. That’s not what I felt like doing at the time, but it sure did feel good later!

Since we are in Psalm 31 this week, I want to explore what’s around Psalm 31. I did this in my quiet time and it was such a blessing.

 Today’s Assignment

1. Open your Bibles to Psalm 31:14.  Read Psalm 31:14-24.  Underline what speaks to you personally. Journal about it as if you are speaking to God Himself.

I found this passage so encouraging. God is on my side!!! He’s there to fight my enemies and I can be strong and take heart because my hope is in Him. (v. 24)

2. Oh let’s keep reading. Look what’s next, Psalm 32.  Any of you struggle with forgiveness? Do you wonder if God could really forgive you?  I know I’ve had that question before and the Bible gave me the wonderful freeing answers I needed and desired. Yes! We are forgiven!

Read Psalm 32:1-11. Mark the verses that you are thankful for the most. The ones that are jumping in your heart right now. Take a few moments to pray or journal.

Wow! I acknowledge my sins, I confessed, and I’m FORGIVEN!!! No more record of that sin. The Lord loves me unfailingly! (v. 10b)

3. Read Psalm 33:4 and Psalm 33:20-22.

Think, pray, and journal on that!!!

Once you have completed #1,2, and 3, answer this.

Are you filled with hope today?  Are YOU filled with hope today?  Are you FILLED with hope today? Are you filled with HOPE today?  Are you filled with hope TODAY?

 

Soul Control - Week Four Assignment

Post borrowed from Prov 31: 

We are half way through our current OBS…how can that be?  As we move through Let. It. Go. it is my hope and prayer that with the principles that Karen Ehman is teaching us, we would commit to pray. Pray how God wants to use them in our lives.

Over the past 3 weeks, I’ve noticed many of you are realizing you need to make changes in your lives. Change is never easy. It requires intention, effort, and commitment. For me, when I’m doing a Bible study, God will reveal to me how He wants me to respond. The next move is up to me. Will I be obedient?  Or will I just skim over the changes I know I need to make and hope I’ll start doing better?  Honestly, I’ve done both.

I have decided, I’m not settling during this study. I’m not going to skim over the changes that God is pointing out that I need to make. I want greater for my life. I want God’s best for my life. I can’t get God’s best alone. But I believe God can do His best work through me when I listen to Him and follow through.

Are you with me on this?  Are you willing to do what it takes to Let. It. Go. and walk in faith?

Moms and married ladies, domestic divas, you had your fun in the past few chapters. The chapters throughout the rest of the book are for ALL of us! Let’s jump on board and decide to finish the last half of this study strong!

 

This week’s chapters have especially spoken to me and got my attention. These are the chapters where I heard God say, “Melissa…I’m talking to you.” To which I replied, “Lord, I’m listening.”

This weeks assignment is to read chapters 7, 8 & 9.

Study and Reflect:

1. What most often frustrates you about your current schedule? Is there not enough down time due to a packed agenda? Perhaps it is having multiple family members going in different directions as you try to sync their travel. Or, maybe you have lots of time on your hands but are a poor manager of it. Write your greatest challenge in your journal.

2. Read Prov 16:9. What part does being in control play in managing your time? After all, we can't simply sit idly by and expect tasks to perform themselves, right? Describe what you feel is a fair balance of control and acceptance when it comes to attempting to manage time, knowing that we may face crises, delays and interruptions.

3. In chapter 8 we encounter the old testament character Queen Esther, an excellent example of a strong woman who knew how to control what she could, trust God with what she couldn't and, most importantly, decide which was which. Of the statements below suggesting lessons we can learn from her, which one most resonates with you and why? 

Remember God is God and you are not

Pray, and if you must, fast

Solicit spiritual help

Do what you can

Don't do what you can't

Decide where to glance and where to gaze

Know when to move and when to stay put

4. Have you ever had the "God card" (pg 175) pulled out on you?  If so, how did you handle it?

5. Read the following verses and after each record what you learn about controlling your soul when you can't control your circumstances. Psalm 103:1-2, Psalm 116:7-8, Psalm 130:5 and Psalm 143:8

*Remember this from Unglued? If we want to guard our hearts and minds, we have to immerse ourselves in truth. We do that by opening  God's word and letting it open us. That's how we are made new in attitude of our minds.*