Stuffers

I’m writing my thoughts a little differently today. Seeing as how I am primarily a stuffer, you can imagine that it felt like she was talking directly to me this week. Sure I can be an exploder (mostly with my husband or kids), but primarily I’m one of those, “I’m fine” girls. After all that’s who we are supposed to be, right? Good Christian girls are always fine, especially good girls who were used to being exploded on as children, like me. In an effort not to spray passions all over the wall, I learned to stuff.
To say that good Christian girls are always fine, well, that’s a myth and a falsehood. Good Christian girls are not always fine, and they desperately need to learn to express their emotions in a healthy and whole way, instead of allowing bitterness to grow and eat away our insides.

Are you a stuffer? If so, why do you stuff? Make a list... I'll share mine.

I do not always understand how to deal with emotions in a healthy manner.
I’m scared of hurting the other person.
I don't want to lose control
And my biggest one: I haven’t had time to process exactly what I’m feeling or why I feel it.

As Lysa says, I have also stuffed because “it feels more godly.” But if even when I think I am acting godly, it is not godly if I do not actually process the emotions, put them to rest, forgive, and move on, but instead allow bitterness to grow and resentment to creep in.

Remember, with every conflict is the opportunity to grow and go deeper in a relationship. 


Special Situations and Tips from Lysa: (for more info read the book )

• Set boundaries instead of building barriers. The difference? Transparency.
• Know what you really want.
• Some people really may be impossible to get along with in a healthy manner. “All things are not possible with people who refuse to be led by the Holy Spirit.”
• Give yourself some time to process what you feel.
• Ask yourself if your expectations are unrealistic or realistic. If they are realistic, “discern how {you} can communicate {them} with gentleness and in the right timing.”
• Remember: “Feelings are indicators, not dictators.”

Are you getting closer to soul integrity?

Reflection Questions Chapter 6:

1. Where do you tend to see yourself stuffing your emotions? Can you trace it back to identify a trigger in your past?
2. How does building barriers keep you from effectively serving?
3. What has challenged you about this idea of soul integrity?