I'm FINE!!

I’ve had many opportunities to come unglued since we’ve started reading this book together. Soooooo, I’m extremely thankful for imperfect progress.

Another good blog post for chapter 4 I wanted to share. 

There are two ways we come unglued. You either 1) explode or force your emotions outward on another or 2) stuff everything you are feeling deep down inside and keep it all for yourself with the guise of being fine. Depending on how you process conflicts, internally or externally, and then how you address an issue with others, internally or externally, you may fall into one of four categories.

The four categories of unglued reactions are:

Exploders who shame themselves

Exploders who blame others

Stuffers who build barriers

Stuffers who collect retaliation rocks. 

The interesting thing is that all of us may come unglued in any of these four ways depending on the person and situation at hand. It really depends on how safe we feel around someone else as to how we react to conflict with him or her.

But what I really love is that Lysa is teaching us to have soul integrity by identifying how we’ve reacted. From this girl who likes to generally duck and cover, hide in her closet and cry, or lose friends rather than confront issues, the past year I’ve experienced the blessing of pursuing soul integrity. For goodness sakes, this quiet girl got up and spoke at a women’s retreat on removing our masks of insecurities. And aren’t many masks just fancy ways of covering over and stuffing? {There was a reason God needed me to explore masks – I’m good at wearing them, and I’m trying to learn not to stuff.}

"Soul integrity is the heart of what we’re after. Soul integrity is honesty that’s godly. It brings the passion of the exploder and the peacemaking of the stuffer under the authority of Jesus where honesty and godliness embrace and balance each other.”     

Do you love the way Lysa puts words together as much as I do? Maybe you have a tendency to be more “honest” (use words as daggers instead of wielding them like the sword of the Spirit) or maybe you are the “peacemaker” type (more like peacefaker, right?). Soul integrity is where these gritty variables balance. Honesty is meant to be measured with godliness, and godliness is meant to be measured with honesty. When we don’t measure them together, we dose out plastic or fake versions of the real thing. Sometimes “keeping it real” is really just an opportunity to share your opinion without any care or thought of God. Sometimes peacemaking is just a “plastic version of godliness.”

“Saying “I’m fine” to keep the peace, when we’re really not fine, isn’t honest. It may seem godly in the moment, but it’s false godliness. Truth and godliness always walk hand in hand. The minute we divorce one from the other, we stray from soul integrity and give a foothold to the instability that inevitably leads to coming unglued.”

Lysa takes us back to the book of James for so much of how we deal with our tongue and our emotions. I’m glad to be on this journey. I need it – how about you?

Take Action:

1. Identify what person or people you usually respond with each of the four different reaction types.
2. Review Chapter 4 and the verses in James.

Chapter 4 Questions:

1. Does it give you a sense of freedom to differentiate between labeling and identifying?
2. How do the unglued categories play out in your life?
3. How will you let conviction propel you toward change this week?

*Still TRYING to give away Unglued Devotional Book! See previous post.*